Junyuan Symphonic Band
today went on friendster. seeing new photos of my beloved juniors ... suddenly i missed them so much.. saw their souvenirs for cca fair. so cute neh!! ... they draw on the discs. many many designs.. so creative. :P.. better dan us. we only use ice cream sticks and macroni... :Pi guess they must have enjoyed veri much in band... oh.. make me envious. i wanna go back band also!! but.....anyway.... seeing my beloved juniors so happy.... looking at the photos taken at many events... SYF, concerts, cca fair. i believe dis beautiful memories they wld hold on.. as long as forever. jus how. it had did for me.
yours sincerely
|Sunday, January 14, 2007|
Grey's Anatomy
jus watched the docs. its such a miracle. to deliver. so many babies at 1 time. 6 !bad relationships. trust in between. its just sometimes too much to bear. too much to love.
yours sincerely
|Tuesday, December 26, 2006|
Kenshu.
kenshu kenshu!... on the 16th and 17th dec.
i guess it will be the most memorable event of the yr 2006.
*thinking back*... i went 2 kenshu wif a heavy heart. asking myself,"hai, why m i doin dis?". i m not sure. jus noe. its a study training. possible exercises. i dread it. but i dun wan to disappoint any1. so i went.
yet 2 persons. 2 diff incidents. changed my attitude towards the kenshu. completely.
Person no. 1 and incident no. 1......
i had migraine. bad. real bad. rmbered. blurred vision. sleeping. pain. water. milo. and more milo.
worried eyes every where. pple asking. for my symptoms. i had no strength to ans them.
only one.i rmbr. it was realli cold then. but i rmbered her hugs. was comfortable. and heart-warming. (come on, if u are reading dis. pls think straight!lol.) big bright eyes. heavy make-up. "hides away my eyebags..." she always said.cldn't hide away the worried look. the care. the concern. i jus felt i cld find solace in. away from the pain in my head..
i cried. i said. i can't get rid of the pain. she said gently. but firm. " Don't let ur devilish functions overcome u." i jus teared. from the min on. i wanna get better.
Person no.2 and incident no.2
NHR nite.
giddy spells.always attacking her. on top of it. she had so much probs. yet. she always had been my confidante. very strong. yet. dat nite. my confidante. felt weak. sad. as she relates the events. it jus felt heart-breaking. i knew i need to be strong for her dat nite. be strong for both of us.
yes. finally our big show ended. we were elated. we were strong for each other. we made it. it made me felt. yes. dis is our comradeship.
short days for the kenshu. but like the old chinese phrase goes. i realli felt "wu wei bu zhi de ai.." after so much. i m veri touched. and veri happy. my prayer came true. i m fostering veri strong bond wif her. she is no other. my precious wei ling. from now on. i must love her. twice as much as she love me.
my dearest confidante. kai jing. u must be strong. like u had always told me to. u must get well soon. i'll be waiting. jus like old times. we cld laugh so hard. and do crazy things.
2 person. dat meant so much to me. jus painted thru the whole kenshu. a rainbow. of hope for me.
yours sincerely
|Thursday, December 21, 2006|
End Of The Yr.
its a cold cold... monday morning. hugging to 'the pink jacket'. it is so convenient-ly placed on my desk chair.
was running my fingers thru the many pics taken for the whole yr. 2006. hmm. my life realli was revolving. for the bad. for the good. all had.
pple change. i changed. my hair~! had grown longer. the way i looked changed. lol... look at my 2004 pic.. and my 2005 and 2006. Friends that i neva wld imagine i wld keep. i realli wanna thanks them:) esp. tracy. poon. always there. my 'big' sisters. reealli felt loved. elyn. thanks. for letting me believe friendship is possible. so much so we shared our probs tgt. i will cherish it. Kelly. li. di. fiona. shu ling. pple i felt. i fostered strong bonds. rock on u guys!let me realli feel life can be so free!
yup,for the past yr. i had cried enuff. laughed alot. grew thru probs. esp thru my attachments. my frens. be it for worse. for good. i m glad. i haf been there. done that. and moving on:)
yours sincerely
|Monday, December 18, 2006|
believe wad's it is yet what's not
messed up life.wad i ever did neva goes rite. shit. damn. sometimes i jus wish i cld walk out of my life. pls stop helping me. i can't even help myself. i noe. sorry is not enuff... i cannot erase the hurt i inflicted on u. sometimes i wished u cld haf help others and let them shine perhaps u'll be happier and filled wif pride now.
yours sincerely
|Tuesday, December 05, 2006|
another day yet
i discovered something really interesting today.tracy said i had the best mum in the whole world. someone who realli realli care so much for me even betta dan my brother. yeah?there is so much to think for, so much resentment. dat i had against my mum. perhaps. i haven done enuff for her. chanting for her utmost happiness doesn't seemed good enuff. i need action. how to put aside and truely understand my mum? and how to let my mum to truely understand me? how? issit. gonna be when 1 day i leave my mum dat i noe how to cherish?
yours sincerely
|Monday, November 20, 2006|
nam-myoho-renge-kyo
taking report. on a thurs morning. jus tired. jus jus tired. a change over from aftrnn shift. lucky dad sent me to work. thot my day wld be kinda sian. and slow. saw her took out beads. a brown, realli old set of beads. the same twisting. at the centre. she placed her palms tgt. jus i like i did when i chant. thot to myself, " cannot be. such a coincidence?". din put too much thot. finally. i was free in the late morning. walk on over to her. i asked in mandarin, " aunty, u r a buddhist?" she nodded. i asked again," wad sutra u chant?" a blur look on her face. "nam-myoho-renge-kyo!" she said. i replied," me too! i chant too!" kinda excited.to noe. is a kinda of spirit booster. not many in the hosp . noes bout soka. but to noe 1 soka member. i dunno. i felt. i m not alone. struggling. struggle to go to work every morning. and maintain my spirit to perform well in my attachment. n more of. "less complaining". but dis aunty . is my patients. she is veri strong. very cheerful even she is a patient. my driving force to carry on my day well~
yours sincerely
|Friday, October 13, 2006|
:neuro ward:
came back to the my dear old ttsh. but interesting. i m posted 2 a neuro ward. hmm. wad's dat ? its gotta deal wif the brain man! epilesy (fits), cranioplasty ("fixing the skull back"), drug abusers, very very...confused patients. been here 1 week. protocols changed. the other thing dat changed was. i m yr 2. i felt i been left alone to "walk"... staff nurses let us handle things ourselves. it ain't a bad thing. i felt more confident instead. today is the last day of the weeek. i jus thot, "great! last day~" felt tired. so is the rest. complaints r never ending from others. had tons of complaints myself.but well. dis time. i decided to keep it inside me. :)
yours sincerely
|Friday, October 13, 2006|
:neuro ward:
came back to the my dear old ttsh. but interesting. i m posted 2 a neuro ward. hmm. wad's dat ? its gotta deal wif the brain man! epilesy (fits), cranioplasty ("fixing the skull back"), drug abusers, very very...confused patients. been here 1 week. protocols changed. the other thing dat changed was. i m yr 2. i felt i been left alone to "walk"... staff nurses let us handle things ourselves. it ain't a bad thing. i felt more confident instead. today is the last day of the weeek. i jus thot, "great! last day~" felt tired. so is the rest. complaints r never ending from others. had tons of complaints myself.but well. dis time. i decided to keep it inside me. :)
yours sincerely
|Friday, October 13, 2006|
